


reminiscing

by theuniverseishers



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Linda-centric, No Beta, Sad Ending, We Die Like Women, but like, half of this is flashbacks, linda monroe marry me challenge, not really mentioned??? like she's there but only BARELY, she's In Love........, she's Pining, uhhh okay so linda's a bit ooc but like.. we still stan right, we stan one (1) powerful queen, well most of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theuniverseishers/pseuds/theuniverseishers
Summary: Linda Monroe doesn't hate Becky Barnes.  Quite the opposite, actually.orthe pining lesbian linda fanfic we all deserve
Relationships: Becky Barnes & Linda Monroe, Becky Barnes/Linda Monroe
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	reminiscing

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh the ending was a bit rushed but i hope you enjoy reading this!
> 
> my twitter is @/azminanan, come yell at me :)

It didn’t register at first – her voice, that familiar lilt she used to hear constantly years ago during her time in Hatchetfield High. When Linda finally turned around with an impatient stomp, she had to hide a stuttering breath when her gaze rested upon her. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling dry as she met Becky Barnes’ gaze evenly. Linda’s face went completely blank, a tiny effort to hide the way her heart skipped a beat whenever she saw or even thought about the redhead. Blinking, she carefully rearranged her expression into one of condescension and hoped that Becky wouldn't notice the split second change in her eyes. When Becky squinted at her, Linda knew she’d caught onto something. She ignored the look.

-

“Linda!”

The blonde freshman turned to see her best friend, Becky Barnes hurtling down the hallway towards her, her grin ever present on her face. Linda’s lips quirked into a rare smile as she closed her locker, turning to face her friend as she skidded to a stop in front of her. Her ponytail was trapped under the chain of her necklace – a birthday present from Linda that Becky had quickly responded with her own gift of a pair of earrings she insisted would compliment any outfit Linda wore. Who was Linda to disagree? She wore those earrings and took care of them like they were her most prized possession – so Linda stepped closer to her and fussed with the accessory, gently tugging the ponytail from underneath the silver chain.

“Hi, Barnes,” she greeted with an unimpressed look, though the soft affection in her voice revealed her fondness of the cheerleader. She missed the skeptical looks shot at them by the other students roaming the hallway, prompted by their close proximity to each other. Becky cleared her throat, letting her smile fall and taking a step back, pushing Linda’s hands away as she fixed her hair herself. Linda could only frown in confusion, letting her hands hang limply by her sides. She crossed her arms in an effort to dispel some awkwardness and leaned against her locker.

“So what is it?”

Becky’s beaming smile returned, and Linda could feel her uneasiness settle down a little.

“Linda, you won’t believe it! I got accepted into the cheer team!” she squealed in a hushed tone, grabbing Linda’s hands and bouncing on her spot. Linda grinned back at her friend, ignoring the strange fluttering she felt at her friend’s touch and bouncing with her, albeit a little less enthusiastically.

“You're right, I _don't_ believe it,” she teased, laughing at the redhead’s pout. “I’m kidding. You practiced so much, of course you got in, Bee! And if you hadn’t, I would’ve threatened them until they let you in.”

It was Becky’s turn to shoot her a doubtful look as she tugged the blonde along the hall towards the school entrance.

“Linda, I love you, but you- what, barely graze five feet?” she quipped, letting out a carefree laugh when Linda shot her a warning glare and a gentle punch to her shoulder. The redhead turned away, chattering on and on about the cheer tryouts, and Linda could only smile and nod as her friend rambled. Becky eventually adjusted her grip on Linda’s hand, intertwining their fingers and shooting her a warm smile as they exited the school. Linda felt her face flush and brushed it off as a very normal reaction to the cool breeze blowing by at that moment.

Linda parted with Becky on the front steps of her house.

“You could come in, you know. Mom misses you,” the redhead invited, nodding at the door as she rested her hand on the doorknob. The blonde shook her head, making up some lame excuse about some History homework that would be due soon. Becky made a face at her before opening the door to let herself in. Before she closed it behind her, she made Linda promise to call her afterwards so that they could talk further about their day. Linda, unable to resist Becky’s very impressive puppy face, nodded an affirmation and they said their goodbyes.

Becky shot her one last warm smile before closing the door, that smile she only ever seemed to give freely to Linda.

The blonde’s mind wandered to thoughts of the redhead as she walked the rest of the way home. She didn’t realise she’d been smiling involuntarily to herself until she walked past the standing mirror in the corner of her room and froze in place. Her hand instinctively went up to touch her earrings – always those earrings, never anything else.

Linda had to sit down as her mind raced, still unconsciously fondling those star-shaped, silver earrings.

(“Cheesy,” she had remarked. “Cute!” Becky argued.)

Her train of thoughts finally came to a pause when she thought about the way her heart pounded whenever Becky smiled at her, or held her hand, or pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face, or–

“I love you,” Becky had said to her that day. Those words kept repeating themselves in her head, and Linda covered her red, hot face with both her hands as she thought about the pure affection that had dripped from those words as the redhead said them off-handedly. Why was she feeling this way?

Linda laid back on her bed and stared up at the ceiling in shock.

_Oh._

-

“Oh my god, it’s Becky Barnes,” she drawled into her phone, ignoring the strange – familiar? – look from the shopper standing between her and the nurse. She turned away, speaking into her phone and further gathering her composure. She was almost sure she could feel Becky rolling her eyes at her as she spoke to Gerald, and the ensuing argument between Becky and the other shopper in line only served as more time for Linda to get her wits about and deliver the sharpest digs she could muster to the redhead. As she and Becky went back and forth at each other, Linda took the opportunity to eye her adversary.

Becky Barnes looked almost exactly the same as the way Linda remembers her. Her hair was still pulled up into that high ponytail so reminiscent of her days as a cheerleader, and while the nurse scrubs weren’t exactly the most flattering cut, the blue complimented her auburn hair and made her eyes pop. Her puffy winter jacket managed to complete the look, and Linda was unable to stop herself from letting her eyes roam over Becky appreciatively. _Blue has always been her colour,_ she thought to herself.

-

Becky was wearing a baby blue sundress and playing with the necklace Linda had gifted her – always that necklace. Linda couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen her best friend without it after she’d given it to her all those years ago – when Linda was shooed away from her own locker. She wandered towards Becky’s locker, located only across the hallway, and leaned against the cool metal as she watched Becky smile and flutter her eyelashes at Tom Houston. The blonde watched helplessly as the redhead threw her head back and laughed, exposing her pretty neck. _Typical flirtatious signals,_ Linda brooded.

Ignoring the twinge in her heart, she turned to watch Tom instead. The boy was running a hand through his curly, unkempt hair nervously, grinning down at the redhead as he made what Linda could only assume to have been another lame joke. She could see his eyes flit quickly up and down the redhead’s figure; Linda herself had done the same earlier that day, she was not proud to admit it, but she felt herself bristling at this boy for eyeing Becky like that. She huffed snootily, turning her nose up at the boy. He was not good enough for her best friend.

Tom was in the year above them. He wasn’t anything special – at least, not from what Linda had seen of him. Of course, he was on the football team but his grades weren’t the best. He was okay appearance-wise – neither muscular nor overweight – and he had a group of average friends. He was.. Average. Linda didn’t quite have any other words to describe him. He was just a normal, okay-looking boy and he was making the prettiest girl in school grin and blush like it was nothing.

(Becky would argue that Linda was, in fact, the prettiest girl in school. Linda would never agree.)

Becky laughed once more, resting a fond hand on Tom’s arm. Her gaze and smile were especially warm, just like the smiles she only gave to Linda. Tom smiled back at her.

Linda felt sick.

-

She caught herself and pulled her face into a scowl. Becky didn’t notice her staring, and Linda was all the more thankful for that familiar obliviousness that had always been present in the redhead.

Linda’s heart ached when she delivered hit after hit with each venomous insult she threw at Becky, and she had to turn away when the redhead’s determined, righteous look fell so quickly at her jibes. She ignored the remorse slowly bubbling within her and latched onto the topic of Becky’s no-good ex-husband, Stanley. With every vicious word, Linda could feel her guilt rising further and further until she couldn’t stop herself from spouting the most ridiculous bullshit she had ever lied about.

_Nobody cares?_ She thought to herself as her smile grew depreciative. _I wish I didn’t._

When she didn’t hear any comeback from the redhead, Linda immediately turned back to being spiteful towards her husband to cope with the immense guilt. _Whatever_ _,_ she thought, _S_ _he’s always known that I’ve never liked Stanley, anyways. I told her he was a piece of shit. It’s her fault she put herself in that mess,_ she reasoned, though it didn’t help at all.

-

Tom broke up with Becky about a week after he graduated. He'd been shipped off for his army training.

Becky had relayed this news to Linda in the middle of their second _Narnia_ movie on one of their regular sleepovers at Linda’s house. Linda had shot up, ignoring the movie in favour of shooting Becky an incredulous look. The redhead said nothing more, keeping her eyes carefully trained on the TV Linda’s father had installed in her room as a gift on her 18th birthday. Though her eyes never left the TV, Linda could tell she wasn’t really focused on the movie at all, obvious in the way her eyes had glazed over and her hands fidgeted, playing with her necklace. She refused to look at Linda, even after the blonde had stared at her for a long moment.

Linda sighed and leaned back into the pillow she had propped up against the headrest. She gently tugged Becky towards her, letting the cheer team captain rest on her arm and snuggle into the curve of her neck for her own comfort. Becky threw an arm over Linda’s midsection, desperate for more human contact and Linda, who had never been one for physical affection, let her. The hand that was resting under Becky’s head wandered up to the redhead’s hair and she stroked and ran her hand through her best friend’s hair in an effort to comfort her. They said nothing else, instead turning their attention back to the movie.

(Linda wanted to stomp and yell and murder Tom Houston. Sure, it wasn't exactly his fault, but her best friend was upset and she needed _someone_ to blame for it.)

This was different from Becky’s usual breakups. Instead of the sobbing mess she would usually be, she was quiet and apathetic. Linda wasn’t quite sure if she was handling this situation properly, but from the quiet "Thank you,” she had gotten from the redhead, she assumed she was comforting her well enough.

When Becky’s breathing evened out a few minutes later, Linda switched off the TV and pulled Becky further into her arms. The snoozing redhead quickly acclimated to their new position, nuzzling further into Linda and tightening her hold on the blonde. Linda stared at the moon through her window, silently wishing for the moment to never end.

Then Becky mumbled Tom’s name in her sleep and Linda felt her heart break a little.

It was only about two weeks after that night when Becky had started to flirt with a fellow senior named Stanley. Linda never caught his last name. He was quite the rabble-rouser, picking fights with juniors who had done barely anything to offend him and constantly getting caught with drugs in his locker. Even with his stained record, Becky kept encouraging his advances on her.

It was safe to say that Linda hated every iota of this development.

“Becky, he’s not good for you,” she had pressed for the umpteenth time that week. Becky ignored her, fixing her hair and checking her makeup in the mirror. The only other student who had been in the restroom with them – a freshman Linda recognised as Emma something – heard those words and made the smart decision to leave before anything too serious came up in the conversation. Linda quickly strode to the door and locked it lest any other student came in and interrupted their conversation.

She turned and pressed her back to the door, frowning when her best friend didn’t respond and was instead fussing with the collar of her dress. Becky turned to her, still fumbling with the buttons of her collar.

“Say, Linda, do you think Stan would prefer my collar buttoned or unbuttoned?” she asked, avoiding Linda’s gaze as she turned back to the mirror and frowned at her reflection.

“Becky,” Linda tried again, straightening against the door.

“I hope I don’t get any more zits this week, I have a date with Stan on Saturday and the one on my cheek _just_ healed properly,” the cheerleader continued with an easy smile, determined to ignore her friend.

“Becky!”

“What?!” she finally snapped at Linda, turning a furious glare at the blonde. Linda returned the look easily, striding up to her best friend until she was definitively in her personal space. Becky took a step back, and Linda didn’t notice the way her blue eyes darted down for just a millisecond.

“Stop being stupid,” growled Linda as she took another step forward. Becky imitated her and took one step back. The redhead shot Linda the most venomous glare she could muster, but it didn’t compare to the cold, determined stare Linda had responded with. She quickly wilted under Linda’s gaze, eyes darting off to the side.

“You know he’s bad for you. He’s done so many horrible things, and you’re still with him?” Linda scolded, unconsciously pressing further forward, driving Becky towards the wall. “He bullies kids, for god’s sake! He’s been caught with drugs in his locker more times than you’ve fallen on your ass and you _know_ that’s a big number, you clumsy idiot. He’s such an asshole, too!”

At this point, Becky was pressed up against the wall, and Linda had slammed both hands onto the wall around her to prevent her from escaping. Becky was staring at Linda with wide eyes and an unreadable expression, but Linda couldn’t care less. She was too busy trying to blink back her tears and stammer through her rambling.

“He treats you like shit- like you’re a worthless piece of garbage, Bee! Charlotte told me she saw him beating a kitten once. _A kitten!_ He’s already a monster now, who _knows_ what he’ll turn into once he’s out of here! He doesn’t deserve you. Fuck, _no one_ in this shithole does! A-and I know you’re still sad about Tom, but-”

Becky shoved Linda away from her, storming just a few steps away. Her face was flushed, bright red with anger and something else Linda couldn’t identify.

“ _Don’t_ ,” warned Becky. She was breathing hard, like she was about to start hyperventilating. Linda took a step towards her, desperate to comfort her best friend, but stopped in her tracks when the redhead took a step back.

“This is _not_ about Tom,” Becky insisted quietly, though she couldn’t meet Linda’s warm brown eyes. Linda softened when she heard how shaky her voice was.

“Becky, you and I both know-”

“You don’t know _anything,_ Linda!”

A pause.

They stood like that for a few moments, ignoring the warning bell and the scuffle of shoes as students hurried to their classes. Linda reached out and held Becky’s hands gently, rubbing her thumbs over her knuckles in an effort to comfort her best friend.

“Break up with him,” she murmured, meeting Becky’s watery blue gaze.

“He’s not that bad.” was all Becky said in response before she pulled her hands away and hugged herself. Linda rushed to block the door before Becky could leave.

“Let me go, Linda,” the redhead sighed. Linda stood defiantly in front of the door, crossing her arms and sticking her chin up to appear intimidating.

“You’re stupid if you think I’m going to do that, Barnes,” retorted Linda, flippant as she leaned against the door. Becky could only let out a tired laugh.

“Why do you care so much, anyway? You didn’t like Tom either, but you didn’t try this hard to make me break up with him,” she asked, a defeated look in her eyes.

Linda’s mind started to race.

_Because Tom wasn’t as big of an asshole._

_Because I really, really don’t like Stanley._

_Because I care about you._

_Because I don’t want to lose you._

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Becky’s eyes widened exponentially, and it was only then that Linda realised what she’d blurted out. Her hands shot up to cover her mouth, mentally cursing herself for being so stupid. Becky stared blankly at her, and Linda prayed to whatever deity she definitely didn’t believe in that Becky wouldn’t end up hating her.

After a few long seconds that felt like hours to Linda, Becky’s lips quirked up into an amused smile. Linda couldn’t repress the hope that bloomed, her heart racing even faster than before.

“Heh, you’re joking, right?”

It was that little chuckle and those three words that completely broke Linda’s heart.

Becky faltered when Linda said nothing. Her smile dropped and twisted into a frown. Then, she walked past Linda and out of the restroom.

The next day, Becky wasn’t wearing the necklace anymore. Linda’s ears stung with the weight of the earrings. She never stopped wearing them.

(When an invitation to Becky and Stanley’s wedding arrived in the mail two years later, Linda did not hesitate to burn it.)

-

When Tom Houston showed up, shoving his way to the front of the line at Toy Zone, Linda shut her eyes in distaste. Of course, he would be here. And of course, he and Becky were stood stock still, staring at each other. Sherman Young – that horrible little creep hadn’t changed at all since high school, Linda noted in disgust – and the shopper behind her started whispering about Becky and Tom’s former relationship, ignoring Linda’s presence between them. She tugged her cape against herself, participating in the impromptu conversation by making some offhand comments about their time in high school together.

She couldn’t help but reminisce on the time before her friendship with Becky had been ruined.

-

Linda huffed as the students around her pushed her, straining to get a better look at the players. She glowered at the boy sitting next to her before letting her gaze roam around the field, looking for her best friend’s telltale red hair. After a few moments, she finally found her at the edge of the field, her pom poms held up around her mouth as she yelled something, as if they would help amplify her voice. Linda eyed her best friend appreciatively, glad that she could do it so openly without anyone getting suspicious. Becky spotted her in the crowd and raised a hand, waving excitedly. Linda could only smile and wave back fondly, if a little less enthused.

After several minutes of confusing sports speak and trying not to yell when she almost got shoved off her seat for the nth time, the students around her jumped to their feet, screaming bloody murder. Confused and a little overwhelmed, Linda made the correct assumption that the Hatchetfield High team had won. Heaving out a relieved sigh, Linda quickly picked her way through the crowd towards the field, hoping to catch her best friend before she inevitably disappeared with the other cheerleaders.

When she finally got to the field, she was met face-to-face with a scene she did not appreciate very much.

Becky was locked in a passionate kiss with none other than Tom Houston. The other football players and cheerleaders were whooping and cheering in celebration of the newly formed couple. Linda, however, was less than excited.

She supposed she should have expected it. They had been flirting up a storm for the past several weeks. It should have happened sooner, really. Even so, she felt her heart crack a little.

Linda winced and made to hurry away, but before she could, Becky had pulled away and spotted her. The blonde found herself standing in front of a very blushy redhead and her brand new sweaty, football player boyfriend. Linda refused to learn what his exact position on the team was.

  
  


Linda and Tom exchanged their pleasantries, introducing themselves to the other.

(Linda was really quite unpleasant, but who could blame her?)

Before Becky left with the others for their celebratory dinner, she turned to her best friend expectantly. The blonde raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, and Becky rolled her eyes and gestured to Tom with her eyes.

“Well?” she prompted, leaning slightly forward in her spot, trying to keep her excitement to a minimum.

Linda opened her mouth to say something to insult her boyfriend, but Becky glanced at Tom, who was waiting for her by his car, and her eyes softened so much and she looked so happy that-

“I’m happy if you’re happy,” Linda murmured finally, uncrossing her arms as she smiled gently at her best friend. Becky beamed brightly, throwing her arms around her best friend before running off to her boyfriend, promising she would call the blonde later.

Linda watched them drive off until she couldn’t see his car. With a heavy heart, she headed back home.

-

When the strange man in the (highly repulsive) denim-on-denim outfit approached her, and offered her everything she’d ever desired, Linda found herself thinking of a certain redhead. She didn’t know what was sadder – the fact that she was still hung up on this straight girl she had a crush on over a decade ago, or that the only thing she ever really wanted was one insignificant woman who hadn’t been a part of her life for years.

(Ha. Becky Barnes was anything but insignificant. She knew that well enough.)

“You keep looking for it in the arms of other men,” the man continued, furrowing his brows as he shined his apple with his denim jacket. “Or in the smiles of your ungrateful little brats.”

She felt bile rising up in her throat as she thought of her little boys, sitting in the car outside the mall, still waiting for their mother. She wondered if she and Becky would have had children if they had ended up together.

The strange man insisted that all she wanted was to be adored- _worshipped_. She couldn’t help but think that he was pulling this all out of his ass, because Linda Monroe knew what she wanted, and all she’d been wanting for the past 18 years was a pretty redheaded nurse.

But Becky had wanted a Wiggly doll too, right?

Perhaps she could pull some strings to get her one once she was the divine prophet.

She couldn’t continue planning when a strange haze entered her mind, taking over all her senses. She found herself floating in a black sea of nothingness, only able to watch herself do the cruellest things.

-

The next time Linda saw Becky on that fateful day, the redhead was passed out in the tight grasps of her followers. Her heart skipped a beat, and through the fog in her mind, she felt that familiar ache of longing. The redhead was still stunning, even in her unconscious state. Her silky red hair still fell perfectly, and her face was soft and smooth, missing the frown she always seemed to wear around Linda now.

Linda missed her smile dearly.

She missed _her._

But then that edgy teen appeared with the Wiggly doll, and suddenly Linda couldn’t control herself anymore. The fog swooped in once more, and she was floating in nothing again as she watched herself scream for that stupid, ugly little doll.

-

Becky was holding a gun.

It was pointed at her.

Why couldn’t she move her limbs?

What was she saying?

“I’m just lining up my shot,” Becky gritted out, face pinched in hatred and loss and pain and..

Through the haze, Linda felt herself hoping against all hope that Becky missed her too.

She felt the fog whisk completely out of her mind the split second before the bullet hit, and all she could see was Becky Barnes, haloed by the light fixture behind her.

She looked like an angel.


End file.
